The wife

When a New Single is introduced to a man in a social setting, makes idle small talk about the sporting team their kids are in together or whatever, why does the man always feel the need to mention his wife if the conversation lasts longer than 12 seconds?

We're not predators and they, almost always if not always, overrate their appeal anyway.

The stereotype

I was explaining to someone I know a little bit that I lust for a dishwasher, to which she replied 'Why haven't you put one in? Oh, because you're renting.'

I explained that it wasn't as simple as that. It's because there is no space in the kitchen as is and I need to build a new kitchen to accommodate a dishwasher, but besides that, I'm not renting.

By way of explanation, everyone owns their house where we live. But she looked at me, shocked, and said 'Do you own that?'

I guess people just don't expect the single mothers to though.

That sort of single

I think it says a lot about the way I regard life after divorce, or at least my life after divorce, that when I chose the title for this blog and my concept of 'New Singles' that it didn't even occur to me that the term had 'looking for a date' connotations.

Being a New Single is so much more than that.

The victim card

Newly divorced women (and especially the not so newly divorced) who play the victim card do themselves and the New Singles subset of the sisterhood a disservice.

No one is enriched or empowered by chatter about how badly done by 'we are'.

The challenge is to get on with it as best we can and not use our circumstances as an excuse for anything.

Henrietta Taylor

Henrietta Taylor is a New Single. She's the author of Lavender and Linen (Harper Collins 2007), a memoir about moving to Provence after the death of her husband and building a new life for herself and her children. I loved it.

How many times?

How many times every week, month, year do New Singles have to answer questions about dating?

Am I seeing someone? Have I met anyone nice? Do I think I will ever marry again?

It really starts to get irritating when it becomes a daily enquiry.

Answers to above. No, no and not before the answers to the first two questions are not no.

The force

I read somewhere the other day that there are 40 million divorced women in America.

40 million anythings is a force to be reckoned with.